October 11, 2008

WHAT A FRIDAY NIGHT!!!

Thank goodness it is Saturday!!!....Friday was NO fun!!!!!....You see I've been having a pain in my right lower stomach for some time..{maybe several months}....I kept it from Tim because He worries enough for both of us...Well, last week I had to tell him because it was making me start to worry...When I told him he just hung his head and sighed and asked how long I've been hurting....But the thing is somedays I hurt and some I don't....And wouldn't you know as soon as I told him I had a few days of less pain....But it didn't stop his worrying and constantly asking if I was ok....And I knew I had to make a doctor's appt, but with no pain I wasn't going to do it....You see, I've been poked, prodded, ex-rayed, pet-scanned{Yes, the scan is called that and it is for humans!!!}, CT scanned, MRI's,surgeries, etc.....that I DON'T run to the doctor in a hurry....I especially don't cause unneccessary worry in my family!!!...You see I'm a 6 year cancer survivor!!!!!...When my surgery was performed 6 years ago to have my thyroid removed the doctor came out and told my familyit was cancer and and I had 6 months to a year to live....

So I am running around making the hour long trip to get Taylor yesterday, running back by the house, getting the kids something to eat at McDonalds and running to the dreaded docor's appt..And when I mean DREADED I mean it...And I told the doctor as I sat in the room that if I hadn't been hurting so bad on Thursday that I wouldn't be here today....Because as usual it hadn't been bothering me that bad leading up to the appt.....Well, he vetoed appendix and other things because I was having no other symptoms....Which was good...I mean no other symptoms!...And then he gets to my medical history!!....Then there is a look that comes over his face and then the plan of action is totally different...I forgot to tell you that this wasn't our regular family doctor...She only works certain days, so we had to see the doctor that fills in for her...And I've seen him before and like him, so it isn't a big thing... But as soon as he starts asking questions and see his expressions I get a little teary eyed and hold my breath...

So since they can squeeze me in on a Friday afternoon{only because I came prepared and hadn't eaten all day} I'm on my way downtown to have a Ct scan instead of a regular x-ray at 4:00....And I have to hear my husband sighing the wholde time....WE've been through this more times that I can count..The trip to the hospital to have a test either in silence or me being chatty because I couldn't stand the silence....But thank goodness they can fit me in instead of having to wait the weekend to have the test on Monday...And it will be a WET READING...Which means the radiologist will read them before the ink dries and call my doctor with the results...Then he will call me at home....We will know tonight!!.....

When we get there and finally get where we are suppose to be then the insurance person informs me that we have to wait for approval of the test because it is VERY expensive....We've never had to do that because all of my test have been approved ahead of time and thank goodness we've always had everything covered...I've always had wonderful medical care during my chemo, radiation, and surgeries...My heart has always ached for people that have had to worry about paying for procedures on top of just dealing with the life or death outlook.... Finally they came with the news that I was ready for the test....Ok..But you don't just walk in and have the test...I am given a big tall bottle of chalky slightly flavored stuff to drink...I've done this many times before....Half to drink now and the other half to drink in an hour and then another hour to wait...So two hours before they can do the test...UGH!!!...What a way to spend a Friday night...I was freezing, so Tim found me a blanket... He was soo patient walking with Luke and keeping him entertained while we waited, calling Taylor and telling her we were at the hospital to have a scan, and walking with Luke some more...Tim had taken Taylor to work earlier while I was waiting to see the doctor so she was unaware of what was going on and was needing to be picked up at 8:00....

But eventually time passed and with an iv and the rest of the bottle drank they show up with another bottle to drink..YUM!!!YUM!!!!..UGH!!NO!...He told me to drink as much as I could, so I drank it all while I waited some more....So when he came back it was time....I go in and they inject dye in the iv and I can feel it go all over my body within milli-seconds....The test is listening to the voice say "Hold your breath"..."Now breathe"...while the scan is being done and then it's over in about 15 minutes...Then a moment to make sure I can be around my son and nothing they injected into me was radioactive....I had test that I couldn't be around Luke for 8 hours afterwards...

So now it was time to get Taylor and something to EAT!!!!..I hadn't eaten in 24 hours....All the while You don't think!!!...You don't let things enter your mind...You do the normal and don't think until you get the results...You do alot of praying and numbing yourself for if you receive the news that they've seen something{We've had those phome calls}....All the while praying that they see NOTHING!!!....

We go to the doctor's office and get Tim's truck and I go on home with Luke..Tim will get Taylor...Hopefully the docotor has called and he has!!!....A message was left "that the radiologist called and everything looks good"..."I have my pain medicine for the weekend and to call him if I need him...He is on call all weekend"........Now this is ALWAYS the time I have my breakdown...I'm strong when I need to be and fall apart when everything is Ok'ed.....I guess it is the buildup of emotions that come out...BUt they didn't see anything!!!!!!!..Thank You GOD for your blessings!!!!!!...So, now I have my pain medicine and I've really been hurting since he did all the pushing on my stomach yesterday....BUt as I sit and type this tears come to my eyes as I'm watching Luke outside riding his little truck on the sidewalk with his daddy... I'm continuously reminded of God's grace and mercy because if I wasn't here today in remission, then he wouldn't be here either!!!!...And what a gift he is to our family!!!!!.God is soooo Good!!!...

Hug someone today that you love and be sure to tell them you love them!!!....hugs everyone!!!...Jen

3 comments:

My Homespun Haven said...

Oh Jen..I think I held my breath all the way until the end! I am thanking and praising God!!!! I am so sorry you had to go through all this stress. Sending big hugs your way!!!

Rosemary said...

Hey sweet lady, so did they figure out what was causing you pain? Gallstone perhaps? Hope you are feelng lots better! Rosemary

taylors*farmhouse*attic said...

Rosemary...No, never did find out what was causing the pain!!...Everything was clear!!..Jen